Controlling your turf translates to power when approaching girls in bars. You want your first interaction in your "house," not hers, because if she senses any upper hand, she'll exploit it to feed her ego. Before I approach, I ask myself who has to move if it goes badly. If it's me, I usually wait. When she's the one who must walk away if the conversation doesn't work, she'll be less defensive. Positional power matters—she knows she can stay put while I stand, so she becomes more of a bitch.

I stake out a spot and wait for girls to come into my range, like a commercial fisherman. If a girl is trapped in a large group, I wait until she goes to the bar or bathroom, then pull her aside and talk. Same strategy in coffee shops—I let her come to me instead of awkwardly walking over. If it doesn't work, I do nothing. Why should I take the walk of shame when she's not interested? I'm already taking 100 percent of the risk by approaching. The least she can do is leave if she's not feeling it

A month ago, a girl stood a few feet away—I only needed one step to talk. I made small talk with her fat friend, who mentioned her mom was from Chile. Without thinking, I said "Yeah, the people there are so fat." I forgot she was fat, but I tried to recover. She got upset anyway and said, "It was nice talking to you"—code for leave. I said, "I'm going to stand right here. Why would I walk away because you told me to?" She realized I wasn't moving and stormed off. Her friend stayed and apologized

That fat girl tried to use position to make me feel small, and it backfired. If she'd been sitting, I'd have to walk away and she'd own the moment. Whoever does the walk of shame has less hand. With turf control, even bad approaches have no repercussions—she leaves, it's over, I laugh with my friends. My entire game now revolves around ensuring a girl almost never has the upper hand when talking to me.